Tell me your Dreams
by horoscopesarelies
Summary: post 5x13, Merlin has been living a thousand different lives with a thousand different identities, and in 2013, as a professional therapist he comes across the one person he thought he'd never see again. What will she say and how will he react? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

_**So after years of reading fanfics about my favorite books, shows and movies, finally decided to write one of my own. Constructive criticism is welcome, I love to hear advice about how I can improve my writing, but no flames please, it is my first one after all so don't judge! Hope you like it!  
**_

Merlin parked his car outside a brown building and got out. A small sign stated:

**Connor Reid, M.A. LPC**

**Professional Counselor and Therapist**

This was his life for this decade. Over the centuries he had changed identities and jobs like one changed clothes, never getting too attached to a particular field so that he could always move on to the next one. The little fact that he had magic also helped considerably as he could memorize entire books and heal near death people with his spells. He had been a lawyer, teacher, curator, medical assistant (his favorite so far), librarian and many more. He had even been part of a local band in the small Irish town of Dunloy, as a Bodran player, but that didn't go too well. It had a been a particularly lonely year, even more so than the rest, so he gave it a try. He decided to stick to simple, academic professions after that, not wanting to be kicked out of a bar again.

But he never left Britain. He didn't care how long it took, how impossible it seemed as the millenium came to a close with no sign of him, he refused to give up hope of seeing Arthur again. He will rise again, of that Merlin was sure.

Until then, he did all he could to occupy his time and give back to each community he was living in. He soon discovered living forever could be _extremely_ boring if you had no one by your side. So he immersed himself in books, learned all he could and here he was in 2013, a therapist in North London. Helping others get rid of their demons while his own plagued him day and night. But he tried not to dwell on that too much, he tried.

Merlin walked inside and was greeted by the sight of his perky receptionist Delilah. With her blond hair and hyper personality, she vaguely reminded him of Vivian.

"Good Morning Dr. Reid." she gave him a bright smile.

"Morning Delilah. I wanted to let you know, I have an unscheduled appointment today with a Ms. Campbell, so just direct her to my room when she gets here."

Delilah nodded and then went back to her computer. Merlin was sure he would find her tweeting about last night's 'wicked' party if he were to check.

He went inside his office and glanced at the clock. Ms. Campbell should be here in about fifteen minutes if she turned out to be punctual. Rita Kavatski, one of his colleagues, phoned him the other day and asked him for a favor. Apparently she was swamped with clients and couldn't take on anyone else, but there was someone who really needed help and she wanted him to be her therapist. He agreed even though he usually liked to pick his own clients, Rita was a lovely old woman for whom he'd make an exception. He would miss her terribly when he disappeared once more.

A firm knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.

" Come in."

The door opened to reveal the one person he thought he would never see again: Morgana.

Merlin nearly dropped his cup of coffee as he gawked at her with disbelief etched across his face. What was _she_ doing here? How was she even _alive_?

Delilah walked in behind her.

" Dr. Reid, this is Ms. Campbell."

The so called 'Ms. Campbell' held out her hand, and for an insane second Merlin thought she wanted him to kiss it, but then he realized that they were in the twenty first century and quickly shook it. His palm was sweaty as he pressed it stiffly against her cold skin.

Delilah left the room, leaving the two of them alone.

Merlin looked like he had seen a ghost, which was sort of true considering he had thrust a sword inside the very woman who sat in front of him. Apart from the modern clothes, nothing had changed. She was a carbon copy of the sorceress in his first life, the same striking features that could take away any man's breath. Only this time they weren't contorted with hatred and immeasurable rage, this time she looked vulnerable, almost exactly like she had been when she came running to Gaius' chambers that night so long ago, with bags underneath her eyes that spoke of countless sleepless nights.

She was waiting for him to speak, but when it became clear that he wouldn't, she fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat and began, " My first name is Aisleen, you can call me by that if you wish, instead of Ms. Campbell."

Merlin still said nothing. For centuries he tried his best to keep Camelot's former ward out of his mind, thinking about her brought the most painful memories as he reminisced about days when she was so kind and compassionate, and how she had been reduced to nothing but a bitter shell of her former self. Thoughts of just how badly he failed her, and in the end how he killed her, would haunt him for days. A thousand years was a long time, enough to make you rethink all your choices and feel guilty about your worst enemy in another life.

But surely it wouldn't be enough for her if she had somehow managed to come back. Merlin was expecting that cruel smirk to appear any second now, her green eyes would glow gold and he would be flung across the room. But nothing of that sort happened, instead the Morgana look alike just stared at him, anticipating some sort of reply. Who was this woman and what was she playing at?

" Okay _Aisleen_." he somehow managed to choke out. "Rita briefly told me about your case, but I would like you to tell me a little bit about yourself, what you do, your likes, dislikes?"

He wasn't sure what to say or ask anymore. His degree and certificate on the wall were mocking him now, some therapist he was, at a loss for words. But how could he treat Morgana, if she even was the high priestess? He hadn't seen anyone from Camelot and now here she was, it was safe to say he was completely baffled.

" Well, I'm 21 years old, an only child and a dancer at 'The Royal Ballet' in Covent Garden. So naturally my favorite movie is the 'Black Swan'-"

" You're a dancer?" Despite the gravity of the situation and his sense of foreboding, Merlin couldn't help the bewildered smile spreading across his face. Morgana, a dancer? What the hell kind of crazy world was he living in?

She obviously didn't miss his amused expression and replied curtly, " Yes, is there a problem Dr. Reid?" She sounded offended and now looked like how Morgana would during one of her arguments with Arthur.

He realized how rude he must seem, and quickly wiped the insolent grin off his face.

"None at all, please continue." he asked politely.

She still seemed slightly miffed but carried on. " There's not much else to say, I am introverted and find it hard to express myself using words, so I do it through art, whether it is singing, drawing or dancing, I do a little bit of each, but mostly dancing. It's my life and nothing brings greater pleasure to me, that is why I am here today. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything lately, whatever Dr. Kavatski told you, I assure you it's ten times worse. It's ironic that my name 'Aisleen' means 'dreams'. It should've been nightmare." Her voice grew sombre, eyes downcast as she recalled the events of last night.

In retrospect, Merlin should have guessed the moment Rita told him that his new patient had a severe case of chronic nightmare disorder. He was beginning to comprehend this bizarre situation, though he couldn't be quite sure until she related the content of her nightmares.

" There could be a number of reasons why you might be suffering from bad dreams Aisleen." she scoffed at the term 'bad dreams' as though to imply it was so much more than that.

He ignored her and continued, " Anxiety and stress in life, excess consumption of alcohol, drugs including antidepressants, barbiturates, and narcotics, post-traumatic stress disorder due to recent traumatic events you've experienced, and sometimes even common illnesses such as the flu can trigger nightmares. We have to be honest with each other, are you addicted to drugs or alcohol or even smoking, as nicotine can lead to sleep disorders as well."

She leveled a dark look at him. " You want me to be honest, let me tell you, I had no desire to come here this morning. It's all the same with you therapists. You just don't understand. You sit there with your pen and pad and offer practical solutions to us ignoramuses who just can't get a grip on their lives. I've heard it all Dr. Reid."

In a high pitched voice she imitated 'Aisleen dear, nightmares are just signals representing the disturbance that is taking place in your mind as a result of some stressful life events you are going through. You need to interpret these signals correctly in order to understand the message your subconscious mind has decoded into a nightmare.' But what they don't understand is that my life is perfectly fine! I wasn't abused as a child, I have the most wonderful, supportive parents in the world, and no, I haven't gone through some great ordeal that has changed my world. My nightmares aren't the result of what happens to me during the day, it is something else entirely. I have been having 'bad dreams' since I was six years old so neither drug abuse or alcohol caused it. Over the years my parents have tried every method, and for a while it would go away, I would finally get some peace. But they always come back, always. All the counselors repeat the same thing over and over again, I'm sure some even think I should be sent to an asylum by the time we part ways. I gave up on counseling long ago, gritted my teeth and just dealt with it at night. But recently they are getting out of control, I don't feel like a normal person anymore. My parents couldn't see me suffer like that, and the only thing my poor mother could do was to set me up with another shrink, she made me promise I would go today. But I wish I had broken that promise since it'll just be repeating history again, so how about you simply dismiss me as another nutcase and we can both be happy?"

Saying Merlin was shocked would be an understatement. He did not expect that outburst. Usually his patients had a hard time opening up and sharing their deepest troubles or worries, but she just laid all her cards on the table immediately. But something Morgana, or Aisleen or whoever she was, said had touched a nerve. Repeating history?They were at the same exact position again that they were a thousand years ago, how surreal. But there was no Gaius or Kilgarrah this time to influence his choices, he had to decide himself whether he would help this woman or not. And he had already made up his mind.

He was about to apologize when she beat him to it. " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone off like that. You must think I'm crazy." she looked thoroughly embarrassed and wanted nothing more than to just get out of there.

" No offense, but I specialize in crazy and I assure you, I've seen far worse." he gave her an easy smile. "Let's start over shall we? I'll try my best not to act like a pompous know-it-all this time."

She went bright red but he chuckled, and after a while she joined in too.

" Tell me what you see Aisleen."

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and leant back in her chair. " Now you'll really think I'm a lunatic, especially if you hear my theories."

" Let me be the judge of that. I won't interrupt or tell you my thoughts till you've finished. I want you to tell me everything."

She nodded and commenced. "Where do I begin? I see mass death and destruction, bodies scattered across a bloody battlefield, on such a massive scale it could be the world war, but it's not. It's a different era, these are not countries at war, these are kingdoms. I don't see bombs and fighter aircraft, I see knights riding horses, clashing swords and...magic. The images are all so blurry, I can never see the faces, but I see nameless people falling left and right, and here's the best part, I feel like I'm not a mere onlooker, I am part of this battle, I am the cause behind this calamity. I can feel it. I think...I think they are not dreams, they're memories."

She opened her eyes and a wry smile twisted her lips. " Still believe I'm sane Dr. Reid?"

" Call me Connor, and yes I do, please continue." he replied without hesitation. His words rang true and she knew he genuinely meant what he said. Not a reaction she expected but she made no further comment.

She settled back into her chair once more. " It's not all bad you know. Some nights I see myself in a castle banquet hall, surrounded by well dressed lords and ladies, and servants holding jugs of wine. I am happy, laughing and talking in whispers to a maid I think, judging by her clothes. But I can't see her face, I can never see their faces. It's like the screen has been cut off on the top while watching a film in my head. The merriment only lasts for a few moments though, it never ends well."

" I've noticed a recurring pattern in my dreams. I'd be standing in one location, but then it would morph into something similar but far more sinister and dangerous. For instance, I see myself being pushed back into a wooden chair, a large hand closing around my neck, suffocating me, but not intending to quite kill me. And then suddenly I'm sitting on the floor in a throne room, drinking water from a pouch someone just handed to me. Within seconds I'm clutching at my throat and desperately gasping for air that will never come. I am being poisoned, by some faceless man I thought I could trust."

Merlin had turned as white as sheet, and he continued to grow paler by the minute. This was his Morgana, his old friend, his worst enemy. And now she was back. He was glad her eyes were closed, because surely he thought, one look at his face would give him away. Aisleen carried on.

" The same thing happened again. I was dragged by some men, guards I presume, to a dungeon. They tossed me inside and chained me to a wall, but I had paid them no attention. I was shouting at someone else who stood at the entrance, shouting about how he was a tyrant. I sat down on the cold stone floor and closed my eyes, but when I reopened them I was in a different cell. It was a thousand times worse than the first one, and I wasn't the only prisoner this time. There was someone, something beside me and it's cries are inhuman. It's white and huge like some mythical creature from fairytales, but there's no happy ending for us. We weren't just being held captive there, we were being tortured. Why? I don't know."

" And then there's the most recent nightmare, I haven't seen anything for the past week, and each time, I wake up terrified and screaming even though I know what's coming. I'm lying in the woods, bleeding to death due to a wound in my side and the same creature who was with me in that cell comes and breathes life back into me. I'm filled with wonder and surprise but the picture shifts soon and I'm standing on a deserted field, looking as like I'd been through hell. Someone, a man I'm certain, stabs me with a sword and I am shocked because in my mind, I didn't think he could do it. He twists the blade inside me and I collapse on the ground,once more bleeding profusely. It's a dreadful sight, sentences on the tip of my tongue that I never can utter, and just before the darkness overtakes me, I hear two words: _'Goodbye Morgana.'_

The silence surrounding them was spiraling out of control, they could hear the clock ticking but no one still said anything.

" But that's just scratching the surface, I see a host of other terrible things I'd rather not talk about. What do you think it means, is my subconscious self trying to tell me that I have another name or what?" she finally spoke up.

" To tell you the truth, I don't know. I'm curious about why you think these are memories, not just dreams?"

She sighed, obviously having tried to explain the answer to this same question a million times to other people, but failing miserably each time. " I don't think you'll understand, even if I tell you, even if I show you, I don't think you will. You have to live through it like I did, since I was a child, and then you'll realize that it's not just a figment of your overactive brain or wild imagination, it's the story of your past, your very real past, narrated through dreams."

Once again Merlin was stumped, he knew all the answers to her questions, but even in this lifetime he couldn't come forward and just tell her the truth.

" But their significance doesn't matter to me anymore, all I want to do is get rid of them! The nightmares occur on an almost daily basis, leaving me petrified and desperately fatigued. I don't want to see myself dying anymore, or killing others for that matter! I wake in the middle of the night terrified, afraid to go back to sleep. And the horrible feelings are hard to shake off, they continue to haunt me throughout the day. It's affecting my life, my work, my family and I would give anything to get rid of it." she truly looked exhausted and Merlin couldn't help the feeling of dejavu as she sat in front of him, with sunken eyes and trembling hands. No, no repeating history this time Morgana.

" I think I can finally be of some assistance here Aisleen. There are three options here now for you, decide which one you would like to go with.

The first one is psychodynamic psychotherapy, where patients meet regularly with a therapist to discuss their nightmares and consider any emotional problems that might be causing them. But since you've been doing that your whole life and there's been no progress, I wouldn't recommend it.

The second option is taking prazosin, a medication usually prescribed for high blood pressure; studies have shown that nightly doses of the drug are effective against chronic nightmares in people with post traumatic stress disorder. But since you believe that is not the case with you, I don't think that'll be much help either.

So the last option is not such a modern, conventional method. I have a herbal remedy for nightmares that has proven effective on all my patients. It's a concoction I make personally, with natural ingredients. I have a license to prescribe drugs and I assure you it has no side effects and is completely safe. So what do you say?"

She looked a little dubious about the idea, and thought for a while before finally shrugging and saying " I've taken countless drugs, pills, medication over the years, I suppose I could give your 'magical' herbal remedy a try."

He winced at the word magical but she didn't notice. He told her to wait a second and then ran inside the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. He took out a small vial filled with azure blue liquid and said _**"Gefultuma híe þæt heo onslæpe."**_

It was the same enchantment Morgause had used on Morgana's healing bracelet that drove her nightmares away. He'll be damned if she didn't sleep like a baby tonight.

He went outside to find her texting, probably telling a friend how she wasted her morning at the office of some old school shrink handing out potions.

She heard him approach and looked up from her phone. He handed her the vial and she thanked him, putting it inside her bag. She stood up and held out her hand and he shook it once more.

There was little else for him to say except, " Remember to engage in regular exercise, it will help alleviate nightmare-causing anxiety and stress. And although I know you are not addicted to anything, still remain cautious about the use of alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine, which can remain in your system for more than 12 hours and often disrupt sleep patterns. Just in case."

" Sure, no problem. Once again, thank you Dr. Reid."

" Connor." he reminded her.

" Oh yes sorry, Connor. It's just, please don't mind, I just didn't expect you to be so young. You barely look like you're in your early twenties, most of my therapists are well in their late thirties or forties."

He smirked. " Well, I did skip a few grades."

She smiled and waved goodbye as she walked out of the building. Merlin watched her drive away in her Jaguar. He turned away from the window and prepared for his next patient, although his mind remained on the first one for the rest of the day.

Aisleen toyed with the tiny vial in her hand, wondering whether she should drink it or not. She found Dr. Reid a little shady and queer, what with the way he was staring at her and seemed tongue tied and pale at regular intervals during their session, especially when she provided him with a detailed outline of her dreams. Maybe he was just a little weirded out she thought. He certainly wouldn't be the first, Aisleen had dealt with unsympathetic people all her life who thought she was an attention seeking idiot or just a loser with an overactive imagination. She soon learned that sharing her dreams and what she thought they meant with others didn't end well. Now she only confided in her parents, best friend and the string of therapists she had in the past few years. None had managed to truly help her get rid of her night terrors.

She looked at the bottle one more time, before slowly opening it and pouring the contents down her throat. She drifted off to sleep with little hope of a peaceful, dreamless night.

Merlin stayed awake till one that night, wondering why now, why here, and why Morgana? Why couldn't it be Gwen, or Gaius or his mother, someone who he could embrace wholeheartedly and tell them that yes, their dreams are true. He couldn't do that with her.

He was plagued with nightmares that night, while his patient was enjoying peaceful slumber for the first time in a long time.

The next morning Merlin had barely entered his office when he felt someone crash into him and embrace him tightly. Aisleen. Her soft hair smelled like jasmines and he buried his face in it as he hugged her back.

" Yup, she's been here since I opened up Dr. Reid, spouting praises about you." Delilah informed him with a wry smile.

Aisleen finally let go and said " Thank you, thank you so much! It worked! For years I've tried everything but nothing was as effective as this little remedy. You don't know how much it means to me to be finally able to close my eyes without the fear of seeing terrible things. I do hope you have a large stock in your office." she asked tentatively.

Merlin grinned, truly happy that she was happy. " Of course I do, come on in."

He led her inside and told her to wait. This time he came out carrying a large cylindrical bottle filled with the same blue liquid and handed it to her.

" Thank you so much once again. I don't think mere fees is enough for this, is there anything else I can do for you, anything at all?"

All he could think of was how she would slip out of his life once again. After today, she would have no reason to see him again, at least not for a while, and even if she did, it would just be to collect the potion. So, he couldn't help himself, couldn't stop it, before he knew the words fell from his lips, " Would you like to go out sometime?"

Immediately he wished he could take them back as a stunned expression crossed her features, eyes wide and mouth forming a small 'o'. Clearly she was not expecting that. Merlin's face turned beet red and he wanted to shoot himself for being such an idiot.

" I'm so sorry, I don't know where that came from, I mean I just-"

She cut him off. "Yes, I would. Like to go out. Sometime." she spoke the words haltingly, as though wondering why she was agreeing so easily and quickly but at the same time, couldn't help but give him a positive reply.

They were both silent after that, and it just went from awkward to more awkward. Finally Aisleen took out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it and gave it to Merlin. " Here's my number, give me a call and we'll meet again soon. I guess."

She stumbled out of there as fast as she could, very ungraceful and not like a ballerina at all.

Merlin stood staring after her a while, clutching the piece of paper in his hand. He could hardly believe he had just asked her out and she had agreed.

" Ahem." Delilah leaned against the door frame, with raised eyebrows and a wicked grin on her face.

Merlin groaned. " You heard all that didn't you?"

" Every last bit. My my I never knew you were such a romantic Dr. Reid. Sure this chick is gorgeous but we've had pretty girls come here before and you barely gave them a second glance. This one must be special somehow."

" You're right Delilah, she is. She is very, very special."

**next chapter: the date!**


	2. Chapter 2

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Merlin landed flat on his ass once more and wondered for the 100th time why he decided this was a good idea for a first date? _Oh right, you wanted to impress her you idiot! _

Aisleen was twirling in the center of the rink, eyes closed, her dark hair and purple top flowing as she picked up speed. Half the skaters just stood and stared at her, the boys casting appreciative glances in her direction and the girls with grimaces on their faces. Merlin shook his head. Even now, the men wanted her and the women wanted to be her. Some things never change.

But she remained oblivious to all the attention. When she finished, she opened her eyes and caught sight of Merlin, on the ground yet again and started giggling. He huffed grumpily.

She smoothly glided across the ice to him." Have you ever skated before in your life Connor?" she chuckled.

" What does it look like?" he mumbled.

" Sorry, I've been an awful date haven't I? Here you picked such an amazing venue and in my excitement I just raced away. In my defense, I assumed you knew how to skate, that's why you picked the Galleria Rink. But judging by the number of times you fell, I'm guessing bringing us here was especially for me to enjoy?"

Hah! Skating? Some days Merlin couldn't even walk two steps without stumbling over something on the floor and falling on his face. He was the clumsiest servant in Camelot, and unfortunately, centuries later his slovenly ways had not improved. So yes, choosing ice skating was obviously meant for Aisleen.

He didn't know the rules of modern dating and how it all worked and decided it was time to do some research. He learned that 3 days is a good time to wait before calling, because that way you neither seem too desperate nor completely uninterested. There were a bunch of other rules, some bordered on asinine while others simply didn't make sense. He wondered why there were so many guide books written about something that should come so naturally, at least romance didn't require this much time and energy back in the middle ages.

But nonetheless, he decided to take the advice of the internet dating guru and waited 3 days. That also gave him time to think about what kind of a date would he take her on? He lost the ability of speech remarkably quickly in her presence and was truly afraid he's let something slip, like calling her Morgana for example. He'd come close to doing that a few times, and that would raise eyebrows certainly. Why the hell would he choose to call her by a name she heard in her worst nightmare?

So he crossed off dinner at a restaurant. Movies seemed like a good idea, but it was the opposite of a private dinner and involved too less talking. He wanted to get to know her after all. After much consideration he decided to do something he that was a balance between the two, where they could do an activity and get some time to talk. Something he thought she would like, she was a ballerina after all (he still couldn't wrap his head around that).

So exactly seventy two hours later, he called her and after a few moments of awkward small talk, asked her to meet him at the Galleria Mall Ice Rink. He was proven right when she gave a surprised laugh and said that she loved ice skating and thought it was a wonderful idea. She hadn't skated for a long time and said she was really looking forward to it. Merlin had a huge smile on his face as he hung up.

Now he sat on the cold floor with his butt freezing and bruised knees.

Aisleen extended her hand. " Come on, skate with me."

"I have no intention of dragging you down as well Aisleen. Even a pro like you couldn't help these feet."

She raised her eyebrows. " Is that a challenge? By the time I'm done with you tonight, you'll be skating like an expert. I promise, I'm a very patient teacher. Trust me Connor, you know you can."

A myriad of emotions crossed his features at those words, and without sparing another second he clasped her hand firmly with his.

He wobbled a little as he stood up, but she grabbed his arm and swiveled him around against the railing, steadying him.

Once he was able to stand properly she began, " Now, we'll take this slowly. The first thing to do is clear your head. You're only falling because you think you will. Mind over matter Connor, and you'll be drifting across the rink in no time."

She was gradually starting to move away from the rails, bringing him forward with her.

"Balancing is all in your brain, keep your eyes focused on a particular point and move along with it."

" Hmmm, I think I just want to focus my eyes on you tonight. If I'm skating with _you_ I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on much else Aisleen." Merlin was actually flirting.

Her cheeks flushed pink and she laughed softly. "Well that works too."

He was sliding around the edge, close to the boundaries but not quite touching. Aisleen made it seem so easy, she was smaller than him but had no difficulty in guiding him through the ice, gently pulling him close towards her, before creating distance once more as they increased their pace.

She switched positions so that now she wasn't in front of him, but beside him. She stopped for a moment. "Now I want you to bend your knees slightly and lean forward like this, and on the count of three, lift the tip of skates so that the rear is pushing deep into the ice, and kick off. Okay?"

" What! Kick off? Aisleen we'll go flying through the air and land in a heap on top of each other. Let's save the 'kicking off' for another day perhaps?"

She rolled her eyes. " No, we won't. Just relax, and a take deep breath. The oxygen will help clear your head." She looked away and began counting.

"One", Merlin gripped her hand almost painfully tight, his heart racing... "two", he fixed his eyes ahead and lifted his skates... "three!"

A rush of adrenaline pumped through his body as they shot across the rink, the cool air in his face and hair, his feet moving of their own accord. It almost felt as liberating as flying, as they dashed forward, hand in hand, drawing zigzag patterns on the ice.

Aisleen boldly caught his other hand and shifted around until they faced each other, and with a devilish grin started to rotate in circles, spinning them around._ Uh oh._

She threw her head back as they went round and round, whirling like two hyper children on a sugar rush in the playground. Merlin's heart was in his throat, his skates sending off small sparks as they hit the ice, hoping desperately they didn't crash into some one. But Aisleen showed no signs of stopping or holding back and after a while, Merlin's nerves calmed down as well, he closed his eyes too, and just let go of his inhibitions as they lost themselves in the moment.

She finally slowed down, losing momentum before coming to a complete stop. He was lightheaded and dizzy, but felt happier than he had in ages.

" Don't ever do that again!" he admonished her half heartedly, breathless and panting.

" Say what you will but I know you loved it! It was the most fun you've had in a while right? I know it was for me." she let go of his hands and began twirling once more, winking at him as looked on.

" Now you're just showing off!"

" Admit it, you're just jealous you can't do this!" she joked as she performed an axel jump in the air before landing gracefully back on her toes. Again several heads turned towards her, but she had eyes only for Merlin. She went all the way to the other side, and then floated back to where she left him standing. " But you know what, for a therapist who's never even been on the ice before, you're one hell of a badass skater Dr. Reid." And with that, she grabbed his hands and they took off again.

`~~~~ooo~~~~`

An hour later they stumbled out of the rink, looking almost tipsy due to all the spinning.

" You're amazing you know that? Where did you learn to skate like that?" He had seen her perform several other intricate turns and spins and she was a pleasure to watch.

" I took lessons when I was young. I used to come here with my dad every weekend, and he would cheer me on and call me his little ice princess. In a good way," she added with a smile. " I stopped coming once I started by ballet lessons, my schedules were clashing. It's probably been years since I last came, but this place brings back so many good memories."

" You haven't practiced for so long, but you're still so good." he complimented her.

" It's just like every other sport, once you learn it, you never really forget it, it's in your bones. In fact, you won't believe how many extra curriculars I had going as a child, you name it, I've probably done it. Guess why?" she asked dryly.

" To keep your mind off things." he replied simply.

" Exactly. You know how you said exercise will help alleviate stress and anxiety, well all my previous therapist had the same notion. Maybe she needs something to occupy her time, maybe her mind is too idle so she's conjuring up these tales, blah blah blah...so my parents enrolled me in _everything, _ranging from karate to cooking. A lot of good that did." her voice was dripping with sarcasm. She really did dislike her counselors. "Far from keeping the nightmares at bay, I think juggling so many things all at once stressed me out even more!"

They were almost near the exit when someone called out, " Hey Aisleen!"

She stopped in her tracks and flinched at the sound of that voice. Merlin turned around and saw a six foot tall guy with a lean body, tawny brown hair and hazel eyes running towards them.

Aisleen plastered a smile on her face and replied, " Hi Lewis, what a surprise!"

" Indeed, who's your friend?" he flicked his thumb towards Merlin. He was quite handsome actually, but there was an arrogant air about him that off putting.

She hesitated a moment before answering, " He's my date actually."

Lewis blanched. " You're date? Last time I checked you said you needed a break from all that as it made you 'lose focus' or something. So you're dating now again are you?"

Aisleen tried her best to refrain from rolling her eyes in exasperation at Lewis' rude reaction. " Yes, I believe I am." her voice carried a hint of annoyance.

Lewis recovered and flashed a sickly sweet smile towards Merlin. " How nice. But I thought you were down with the flu Ally, at least that's what the Wayne's been telling everyone. I haven't seen you for two weeks, you're missing so many rehearsals for summer Swan Lake performance, and you're the lead! Are you even planning to make up for all those?"

His constant interrogation was starting to irritate her. "I was actually quite ill for the past few days, so I told him I needed to take a few days off, but I'm feeling better now. And I already went over the choreography with Wayne, so don't worry, it's all on track." She was starting to back out of the glass doors now, and said " Well, take care Lewis, see you around."

" Wait! I had to ask you something else. Is it true you requested a change of partners Ally?"

The fake smile was completely wiped off her face and now she looked slightly guilty.

"Oh yes, about that. I didn't so much request it, as you know, Wayne kind of suggested it. He thinks me and Robert are better paired and besides, you and Jessica look great together!"

He narrowed his eyes. " Really? So this had nothing to do with you turning me down? Come on Ally, I promised you I won't ask anymore if you're not interested. You didn't have to change partners for crying out loud!"

Just then Aisleen's cell phone rang and she looked immensely relieved to find an reason to get away from Lewis. She politely excused herself and walked off, audibly murmuring something about _'you're a life saver'_.

Lewis turned to Merlin. He was a foot taller than him and towered over him. " You're a lucky fella, she's got men lined up to get a chance to kiss her boots, and she chose _you._" he literally spat the last word.

He put a hand on Merlin's shoulder and continued, " Listen buddy, she's so out of your league. I don't know how you managed to convince her to take pity on you and grant you this one date, but understand this, Aisleen is mine. She may not know it yet, but she is. And unless you want to me to snap that little neck of yours, I suggest you stay away from her."

Merlin was having a really hard time not cracking up. Far from feeling angry at Lewis for trying to make him feel inferior, he actually found the situation rather funny. After all, it wasn't the first time he had been warned to stay away from Morgana. This guy was obviously trying to sound menacing and scary, but he just seemed like a petulant child bent on possessing something that wasn't his. Just on his first date and already he was receiving threats from her deluded 'dancing' partners. He had no idea what he was up against. Merlin could crush his bones in an instant but that wasn't his style, and where's the fun in that anyway? He had a better idea. So he decided to humor him.

His eyes grew wide and he took a step back. " Sure thing mate, whatever you say." He stuttered and managed to pull off the terrified meek kid look quite well and Lewis backed off, satisfied.

" Good, seems like you're not as much of an idiot as you appear to be. Next time I see Aisleen, you better not be anywhere near her." And with that final warning, he strutted off.

Merlin waited until he was a few feet away, and right when Lewis was in the center of mall's rotunda, he cast two successive silent spells with his amber eyes.

His pants dropped to the floor to reveal hot pink underwear with the words **"I 3 Bieber" **written boldly across the back. He was frozen on the spot, as people all around him stopped and stared for a second, before everyone started bursting with laughter. Lewis was absolutely mortified as he looked down at the underwear he was currently wearing but had never seen before in his life, and quickly pulled his pants up. How the hell did that happen? Everyone kept pointing at him and snorting, but his blazing eyes found Merlin, standing far away from him, with an innocent smile on his face as he waved cheerily back at him. Somehow, he was sure this was his doing, as impossible as it sounded, but he just didn't know how. He shot him a murderous glare before trying to walk away with the little dignity he had left, as a few girls began singing "Baby, baby baby ooohh!"

Aisleen almost dropped her phone at the sight in front of her. She hung up and gaped at Lewis sprinting out the glass doors as fast as he could.

"Connor, what just happened?"

" I have...no idea." They both looked at each other before dissolving into unashamed giggles.

`~~~~oo~~~~`

They were still chortling as they made their way to the parking lot, the cool night air washing over them.

" Well, he certainly got what he deserved!" Aisleen wheezed out. " He's been vexing me since the beginning of the year! He was a newbie you see, and instantly won over everyone with his unique performing style, even I admired it. He got special roles within just a year which even some of older dancers hadn't managed to land. So naturally his already big head just grew bigger and the idea that any girl could reject _him_ was unfathomable. I'm afraid I bruised his ego pretty bad."

" Yea, he told me how you had men lined up to 'kiss your boots'." Merlin teased her and she snorted.

" Those 'men' really couldn't care less about me. They want the Aisleen who's poised and perfect and is flashing smiles all the time. I bet if any of them saw me during one of my 'freak episodes' they would bolt out the door and never return."

Merlin was reminded of the time Morgana came rushing down the steps into the courtyard, in her nightdress, to warn Arthur, and felt his heart clench as he recalled the pure terror on her face. He took her hand in his and gently squeezed it.

" I wouldn't." he said sincerely.

Aisleen stopped and glanced at him curiously. " I believe you. You know, there's something liberating about dating your therapist, you've seen my crazy side and you're still standing here, can I ask you why? Why did you ask me out Connor?"

" I'll answer your question, if you answer mine, why did you say yes to me?''

Aisleen bit her lower lip, trying to think of a way to put her thoughts into words.

Merlin saved her the trouble. " It's hard to explain isn't it? Sometimes, you just feel drawn to someone and can't for the life of you figure out what it is that's making you feel like this, you simply know it's there. Sorry if that makes no sense and sounds completely cliche."

She shook her head in agreement and laughed. " Yes it sounds very cliche but makes perfect sense. I really don't know what prompted me to say yes, maybe it just came from the immense gratitude I felt for that remedy, but I'm truly glad I did. Thank you for such an amazing night Connor. Definitely exceeded my expectations."

" Let me guess, after you went home you probably thought it would be like an awful, boring blind date or something that would make you feel sorry you ever said yes."

She smiled guiltily. " Sort of, but the moment you called, I knew I would be proven wrong. First of all I'm pretty sure I haven't had this much fun on a first date ever! Instead of some posh restaurant you brought me skating, made me feel like a carefree child again. And I can just be myself around you. But it isn't fair you know so much about me and I'm such an open book to you, but I can't say the same thing about you."

She felt almost nervous as she said, " And I would like to change that."

Merlin smirked and raised an eyebrow. " Are you asking me out on a second date Ms. Campbell?"

" Maybe I am, don't get cocky.'' she punched his arm lightly.

He grinned and replied, " I would like that very much."

They had reached her car and she took out her keys. Aisleen was aware this was the goodbye part and suddenly wondered whether he would kiss her.

They both stood still for a moment, simply looking at each other. He really was quite good looking, his pale skin and sapphire eyes contrasting perfectly with his dark black hair. He leaned in, and she felt her heart skip a beat as he came closer, but instead of placing his mouth on hers, he simply removed a stray ebony lock behind her ear and whispered, " Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"

This shouldn't feel this way, such simple words shouldn't make her knees go weak. Aisleen had been complimented about her looks her entire life, but something about the way he said it shook her very bones.

He pressed a soft kiss on her cheek, letting his lips linger on her skin. It lasted only for a few sweet moments before he pulled back and lightly tapped her nose. "Goodnight."

He walked away to his car, leaving her standing there, craving more than just a short, chaste kiss. Goosebumps erupted on her flesh where he had touched her, and she wondered exactly when the tables had turned, because no man had ever made Aisleen Campbell want to chase them before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Thanks so much for the feedback last chapter, loved it! to all the reviewers:**

**FireyIce 107: thanks! and I know, messing with Merlin always ends up bad.**

**sjritts: you're right, he will tell her the truth, but not quite how he wanted to.**

**MonsterJunkie: Special thanks for the advice, you are so right! I went back and read my previous chapters after your review and the lack of imagery is quite off putting, I tried to rectify that this chapter, hope you like it! :)**

**Guest: Aww, that was rly sweet of you to go through all that trouble, so I continued! **

**Night girl98: Here is the update!**

**MICKEY G.B: your reviews always have me grinning! :D and don't worry, I fell flat on my face like a million times before I finally got the hang of it!**

**Dawn Ruthless: Once again, thank you sooo much for such a nice review, and yea, I couldn't wait to write the kiss scene as well ;)**

**mrlnfan: yea after that finale guess they all deserve a fresh start! thanks! :)**

**AmyNY: I really like the name Aisleen as well, and it actually means dreams so it's quite fitting too! and your stories are great too, I especially loved 'tell me something that I'll believe', it was amazing! **

**4mergana: thanks, and no you're right, it is Morgana reborn after all.**

**InTheMiddleOfNowhere: thank you for that compliment, and since you're new here, I'd like to give you a rec if you haven't read it already, you will love this story if you're into modern merlin fanfics, it is _the_ best one, at least according to me: Queen's Gambit by bittasummer, thank me later! :P**

**Guest: Sorry for the late update, but hope you're still interested!**

**theIrydioner: thank you! and you're right, maybe I just need to give it time...and I love ice skating too, one of my favorite hobbies actually! and yea that's where I kind of got it, you know when Merlin drops Arthur's pants to get his keys? :P**

**`~ ~ ~ ~o o o~ ~ ~ ~`**

" But that doesn't really count does it? It's just you seeing me perform." Aisleen replied over the phone.

" It's what I want to do. You said you want next time to be something that I will enjoy, though believe it or not I actually did like ice skating with you, it wasn't as miserable for me as you seem to think you know. So this is what I want, I would like to see you in your element, unless you have a problem with that."

He could almost feel her roll her eyes. " Of course I don't have a problem with that, you can come along to as many shows as you like, but that's not a date, then you're just a member of the audience."

Merlin glanced at his watch and asked, " Okay then, how about now? Where are you?"

" Now? It's not such a good time, I'm at the studio actually, catching up with all my missed days of rehearsal." she said.

" Great, text me the address, I'm coming over with dinner."

" What? It's 10 pm."

" Fine, I'll bring dessert then."

She chuckled and said, " Spontaneous and impulsive, I like it. Dessert sounds wonderful actually, but let me warn you, I've been practicing for hours, I look like a mess! You'll regret ever going out with me."

Merlin's mind reeled back to his last few years with Morgana, her hair tangled and wild, no light in her eyes, wearing black dresses covered in filth. But even at her worst, he still found that no one could compare to her beauty, and to this day that hadn't changed. " I don't think you can ever look bad Aisleen, even if you tried."

**`~ ~ ~ ~o o o~ ~ ~ ~`**

Merlin slowly pushed open the glass doors and peered inside. Bright lights illuminated the large spacious studio with the built in sound system. It featured sprung wood floors, white ballet barres on every side, and full body length mirrors. The walls were painted in a soothing off white color with brown and beige accents. An acoustic piano stood in the far right corner, and a row of golden pointe flats were lined neatly against the wall.

Aisleen stood in the center of the room on her toes, her back to him, with her arms lifted above her head. At the sound of his footsteps she turned and once again, Merlin was dumbstruck.

She wore a pale pink, high cut leotard that almost blended with her milky skin, her shoulders and thighs exposed. Her body glowed as the light reflected against the sheen of sweat covering her skin and her long black tresses were pulled back into a hasty bun held by a pencil, but a few curls managed to escape and framed her flushed face.

Two bright red spots appeared on his own cheeks as he realized that he had never seen Morgana so scantily clad. He was used to seeing her in ankle length gowns and although in today's age such attire was normal, specially for dancers, he still felt himself blushing.

He couldn't break his gaze as he muttered, " Oh yeah, you look terrible indeed."

She laughed and came forward to help him with all the bags he was carrying. " What's all this?"

" Oh, I didn't know what you liked so I wasn't sure what to get." he shrugged his shoulders.

" So you bought the whole store? There's cakes, tarts, fruit pies and brownies, it's enough food for twenty people!" She shook her head but he could see her smile as she sat down on the floor and began nibbling on a lemon tart. He dropped down beside her and took the pecan pie.

" Mmmmm, you know, technically I'm supposed to stay away from all this 'junk' but sweets have always been a guilty pleasure of mine. My trainer gave me strict instructions to not indulge myself more than once a month, but he'd have a heart attack if he saw my secret stash!" She finished her small tart and reached for a dark chocolate brownie, licking the cream from her lips.

" You don't need to worry about all that, you're perfect just the way you are."

She grinned playfully and replied, " Flattery will get you nowhere Dr. Reid."

" No, I can guarantee, if you born in a different era, men would fight in tournaments just for the honor of accompanying you to the feast afterwards." he reminisced, thinking about Arthur and Valiant. The notion that there was a time when Arthur was attracted to Morgana seemed incredulous now.

She suddenly stopped eating and a dark look crossed her face.

" Sorry, have I offended you in any way?" Merlin quickly apologized.

" Huh? Oh no, it's just, you reminded me of something. Can I ask you a question?"

He nodded and she said, " Do you believe in past lives? I mean, I know you can't think my ideas are completely legit considering how 'mythical' they sound, but do you think there's even the slight chance that maybe people are born again as someone new after they die?"

Merlin carefully answered, " To be honest, I'm not so sure, because what do we humans really know after all? Imagine telling someone who lived in the 6th century about being able to communicate with someone miles away in just a second, to them that's impossible right? They would be astounded but here we are, with cell phones, skype and so many other gadgets. Today the idea may seem illogical, but who knows what we'll discover tomorrow? So although I can't embrace it wholeheartedly, I wouldn't completely write it off either."

Aisleen felt he was just being nice to her and not calling her a lunatic to her face, while Merlin was trying hard not to spill his guts to her. She continued, "Let's suppose my theory is completely bogus, I know it sounds crazy enough as it is. So then why is it that in all my dreams I see men harming me in some way or other. If my nightmares are truly a manifestation of what happens to me in my life, it just doesn't make sense for me to see that. My father is the kindest person I know, he would never even think about laying a finger on me, just like every other man in my life, my friends, cousins, uncles, then where does all the violence stem from? There has to be some link or connection somewhere, right?"

" Sometimes the aggression may not be aimed at you directly, you simply have to witness something terrible for it to plant itself in your brain. Maybe you had a close friend who was abused over a prolonged period of time or something similar and that affected you in more ways than one." Merlin responded.

He knew he was just feeding her lies again, but what good would the truth bring now? And it sounds so far fetched, would she even believe it. A quiet voice inside his head told him _yes, she would, she already thinks these are memories,_ but he chose to ignore it. After centuries of misery and loneliness, he was living once more, not merely existing. She was his only thread of connection to a time when he had been truly happy. He should've known only someone from Camelot could make him feel alive again, and no matter what happened, he did not intend to lose Aisleen like he lost Morgana. By some miracle, they had been granted a second chance, and there was no point in throwing that away for something that happened so long ago. He had already given her a treatment that worked for a change, and soon, after a few weeks, all her past troubles will be forgotten. They would get it right this time around.

Aisleen looked like she wanted to say more, like how it was none of that stuff, but then decided to drop the subject. No need to bring the mood down by talking about her perpetual stupid nightmares which made no sense whatsoever, especially now that she had gone a week without them thanks to Connor.

She brushed her hands together and stood up. " Yes, maybe you're right. Whatever it is, let's not talk about that anymore. I have a better idea of how we can spend the night." she smirked.

Merlin's pulse leaped at her sensual tone as he pondered the possibilities of exactly what she meant by that, but instead of coming towards him, she walked to the stereo and pressed play. Soft, slow piano notes filled the air as the nostalgic tune resonated throughout the room.

He groaned. " No, that's your forte, not mine. Don't tell me this is what you have in mind. Didn't you learn anything from last time?"

She pouted, as if she needed to make those lips look any more enticing to him. " I didn't even ask you and you're already denying me. Come on, just this one dance. And yes, just like last time it'll be fun! Besides, I'm not asking you to perform an entrechat quatre leap or something, just sway to the music with me." She tilted her head in that adorable way she had, and looked at him with expectant, protuberant eyes.

He sighed and got up. " Whatever that means, don't blame me if I step on you toes." he warned her. He discarded his shoes, and the wood felt warm beneath his feet.

She ignored his pessimism and took both his hands and placed them on her waist, while wrapping her own arms around his pale neck. A woman's voice began to sing:

_Memories,_

_Light the corners of my mind_

_Misty water-colored memories_

_Of the way we were_

_Scattered pictures,_

_Of the smiles we left behind_

_Smiles we gave to one another_

_For the way we were_

The words reverberated through his mind as Aisleen slipped closer and quietly moved in his arms. Does she know, is this her way of telling him that she was aware of who they both truly were? But it became clear that the song choice was a mere coincidence as he searched her eyes and found no anger or scorn, just longing for the safety she felt in his presence. She rested her head on his chest, felt his erratic heartbeat against her ear, while he moved his hands along her sides, caressing her bare back. He wondered how she would react if he told her that he had killed her with these very hands.

_Can it be that it was all so simple then?_

_Or has time re-written every line?_

_If we had the chance to do it all again_

_Tell me, would we? Could we?_

To him, Aisleen was the constant reminder of what Morgana could've been like had she been granted the proper guidance and aid as well. She was strong and firm yet kind, and Merlin didn't realize just how much he had missed this Morgana until Aisleen had come along. They both suffered the same nightmares growing up, only difference was that one received love and guidance to help her through these tough times, while the other was left in ignorance, stifled by all those around her, and given potions that did nothing to soothe her sleep. True, Aisleen hadn't received any real aid on getting rid of her dreams either, but at least she was surrounded by people who stood by her and supported her and dealt with the serious problem instead of just making her feel as though she was losing her mind. His regrets truly knew no bounds when it came to Morgana.

_Memories, may be beautiful and yet_

_What's too painful to remember_

_We simply choose to forget_

_So it's the laughter_

_We will remember_

_Whenever we remember..._

_The way we were..._

They swayed from side to side as they rotated in a circle, never breaking eye contact. The song was about to finish but Aisleen wasn't done yet. He wouldn't get away so easily this time, and she didn't care if he felt shy or intimidated or whatever, she lifted her head, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him. It was slow and soft and everything a first kiss should be, gentle and fleeting, leaving you simultaneously satisfied and wanting more.

_The way we were... _

_The way we were..._

Aisleen moved back saw her own awe mirrored in his eyes. " See, that wasn't so bad was it? Next time, don't think so much, just go with your instincts and take that leap okay?"

Merlin wasn't sure whether she was referring to how he didn't want to dance or how he hadn't kissed her last time or both, but he found he couldn't care less. He was just glad that unlike him, Aisleen chose to damn the consequences and simply do what her heart told her to.

**`~ ~ ~ ~o o o~ ~ ~ ~`**

Pandemonium reigned backstage. The corridors were in chaos and dancers everywhere kept flitting in and out of several rooms, either rushing off to the stage, or coming back for a costume change to prepare for the next act. _Room 214, _he kept reminding himself as he tried to locate it amidst everything else. The fragrance of perfumes filled the air as a group of ballerinas walked past him. Slender necks, trim shoulders, neatly made upper bodies poised on long legs. They were preternaturally neat, and glowed with health and purpose. The male dancers were equally lean and graceful, and Merlin felt incredibly out of place in such a setting.

Mercifully he found the door he had been searching for. He knocked and Aisleen's voice called, " Come in."

Flowers, greeting cards and bottles of champagne were strewn all across her dressing room. Hundreds of photos adorned the red walls, each shot featuring Aisleen with her family, mentors and other dancers.

She stood up and turned away from the mirror. The satin folds of her deep turquoise dress hugged her figure following her curves before billowing out into mesh tiers. Her green eyes were bordered with dark eyeliner and light brushes of cerulean eyeshadow, and her hair was pulled back into a tight bun with a french twist, and a sparkling clip with rhinestones embedded in it. She looked stunning.

" These are for you." He said as he handed her the bouquet of peach orchids. He liked the ones he would handpick for her better, but these would do.

" Thank you, they're lovely." she said as she smelled them.

" Not as much as you,"he replied. She put them down and took in his appearance.

" You look very handsome yourself tonight in that tux, though I find you look handsome in just about everything." She said as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

_Yea, wait till you see me in my servant get up, _he thought idly. " Thanks for the VIP tickets by the way. So why is the show called 'The Unfinished Dance'?"

" Your welcome, you'll get one of the best seats and the best view. And haven't you heard, show, not tell. Where's the fun if you know everything before you go in? You'll see for yourself why. Now come on, it's almost time!"

She led him outside. They spotted Lewis the same time he noticed them, and he subconsciously touched his tights to make sure they were securely in place. Aisleen and Merlin broke into laughter drawing curious stares from everyone and an angry scowl from Lewis before he hurried off in the other direction.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder and Merlin came face to face with a shirtless olive skinned male dancer wearing navy tights. Dark hair with bronze highlights and deep set brown eyes, the guy had roguish good looks that could match Gwaine's. Well almost.

" Hi, you must be Connor. I'm Robert, Aisleen's partner." They shook hands while Merlin tried to suffocate the insane pang of jealousy he felt towards the man. Sure, anyone was better than Lewis, and guy seemed genuinely nice, no threats and all, but he couldn't help it anyway. They were dance partners after all, spent so much time together, late night rehearsals and intimate moves.

Aisleen noticed the slight tension in the air, and felt amused and even slightly pleased. She took Merlin's face in her hands and kissed him passionately right in front of Robert and whispered in his ears, " You're quite cute when you're jealous, but you don't need to be, because I'll always save the last dance for you."

**`~ ~ ~ ~o o o~ ~ ~ ~`**

The Italian Renaissance design, combined with architectural notes derived from various European models resulted in an auditorium that was magnificent, with rows upon rows of plush red velvet seats, and bright gold lights. A chandelier hung just over the proscenium arch, and barracat candelabras were placed on either side of the massive stage. Merlin made his way through the crowd to the his box. It was the first in the row of three, nearest to the stage and perfectly situated across from it.

The murmur of the audience died down as the lights flickered, then dimmed, and the orchestra plunged into the first notes of the composition. Darkness enveloped their surroundings as the gossamer curtains slowly parted to reveal Aisleen and Robert standing back to back.

It started out slow, the tune light and carefree as he wrapped his arms around her, moving their feet in tandem. Smiles lit both their faces, as they let go and performed individual pirouettes before finding each other once more. Their movements depicted the tale of a man and women in a tentative relationship, building love and trust over time. Merlin, like the rest of the audience, watched in rapt attention as the story unfolded.

The music picked up, a whirlwind of unison notes of unvarying tempo and dynamics as the now lovers lost themselves in each other's embrace. The rhythm of their bodies was as trance inducing as the moist, intoxicating air as he lifted her over his head, before bringing her back down and spinning her out. She dreamily circled the stage, she had given her heart to him. But had he as well?

The orchestra launched into sonorous expansiveness that penetrated the bones as the lights turned red. This music was visceral, and gut-wrenching, as he snapped her to him with so much force, it looked like he might have hurt her. They circled each other, she would put up a fight, but in the end, he would always win. Their movements were painful now, brief forceful jumps and leaps, the swirling motif that turns back on itself and never seems to be fully freed of its tethers, the unsettling notation.

He stands still as she softly glides across the polished stage, each small step, accentuating the melancholy that hung around her. Her dance was wistful, pining for something unknown, eternally searching but never finding. Her smile bittersweet as he came forward, as though she knew her end was near. He dipped her in a semi circle and engulfed her in his arms, but in her last moments she wanted to break away. The expression on his face was resigned and hers was of horror and betrayal.

She tried to break free but he held on to her, sorrow in his eyes as she slowly went limp in his arms and sank to the floor. She was an ethereal creature struggling against earthly bonds, and finally transfixed by pain, she died, smothered by her own love. He picked her up in his arms, shoulders sagging with guilt and head bowed, the last notes fading away, the unfinished dance.

Complete silence surrounded the auditorium before it burst into tumultuous applause. Both dancers bowed and waved, flashing pearly smiles at the crowd.

But Merlin wasn't clapping. The show had made his emotions rip themselves from every crevice in his body and whirlwind around him as he tried to collect his thoughts and calm down. The whole story, the beautiful trust and love in the beginning, morphing into this game of dominance as they danced around each other, trying to win at all costs, until it all ended in her death, seemed all too familiar. Seeing her lying there on the floor, with him towering over her, took him back to the forest. He tried to tell himself how silly he was being, this wasn't real! And this certainly wasn't him betraying Morgana all over again, but he couldn't shake the images away. He felt sick and overwhelmed, and all he wanted to do was get out of there to clear his head in the fresh air outside. Green eyes followed him as he hastily made his way out, almost sprinting away from all the noise and cheers.

**`~ ~ ~ ~o o o~ ~ ~ ~`**

She found him outside, leaning against a pillar, his posture rigid as he stared off into the night. She was puzzled by his behavior and wondered whether it was seeing her dance with Robert that set him off, because that was something he would have to come to terms with, it was her life and career after all, and if he wanted to be with her, he would simply have to deal with it.

" Are you all right?" she placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned around.

Merlin looked pale, even more so than usual, his smile clearly forced as she noted the strain in his eyes. " Yes, I'm perfectly fine. You were mesmerizing you know. Couldn't take my eyes off you." Even his voice seemed strangled.

Aisleen frowned and took both his hands in hers and squeezed them.

" Look you can talk to me okay? Was it because of Robert and me dancing together? Oh come on, I already told you there's nothing, he's just my partner and a good friend and you-"

He dropped her hands and let out a frustrated grunt. " No! Of course it's not that! It's...it's hard to explain, you won't understand." He waved his arms about in his agitation.

She put her hands on her hips and leveled him with an equally annoyed look. " Well explaining my dreams to you was pretty damn hard as well, so why don't you just return the favor and try me."

" It's just..." he trailed off when he realized words couldn't convey how he felt, so he simply grasped her shoulders and pushed her against the pillar, his lips descending on hers a second later. Aisleen barely had time to gasp as Merlin grabbed her waist almost in a bruising grip. It was nothing like their previous kisses, nothing shy or soft about it. It was raw and intense as he poured all his frustrations, anger and guilt into it. His mouth roughly parted her shaking lips, sending tremors along her nerves and evoking sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. She trembled against him like the reflection of the moon does on the water, and they both eventually sank to the floor.

He held her in his arms and told her in hushed tones, " Just don't ever leave me okay?" _I don't think __I'd be able to deal with it the second time._

If she was confused before, she was even more so now, but she decided to refrain from further questioning. All she understood was that somehow he had been affected deeply and she kept wondering what it was that made him so upset and even slightly afraid?

She tried to lighten up the mood. " You do realize that all that wasn't real you know? I'm still here, Connor, I didn't actually die! But maybe I should invite you to more of my shows if it results in you kissing me like _that _afterwards."

He didn't return her smile, the fact that she called him Connor only pissed him off even more. He wanted to scream at her and her blissful ignorance. Tell her dreams were true, that his name was Merlin and her real name was Morgana and how sorry he felt for everything that happened between them. He realized he would have to come clean sooner or later, he couldn't just go on having these flip out moments just because something or the other reminded him of Camelot. Aisleen would always bring back both happy and traumatic memories of Morgana, and he decided he would have to tell her everything if he ever wanted to achieve closure.

But not tonight, he wanted one more night for her to just look at him like he actually cared, before her gentle eyes turned accusing once more. Tomorrow, he would tell her tomorrow. He sighed and buried his face in her neck, and she began to stroke his back, both silent and lost in their own thoughts.

**`~ ~ ~ ~o o o~ ~ ~ ~`**

He went home that night and blew dust off his old spell book. He hadn't used it for a long time, mostly because he didn't need to anymore, but now there was one spell he had to find urgently. He could tell Aisleen all about Camelot and he didn't doubt that she would believe him, but his problem was that he kept thinking of them as two different people. He forgot that Aisleen _was_ Morgana herself, and it would be better if he could somehow trigger her memories, make her remember. He stopped suddenly, as he pondered the consequences of what he was about to do, and how dire the outcome could be. It would be so much easier to just go on pretending they were a normal couple, but he didn't know if he could keep up the act any longer. He just hoped that after a thousand years, Morgana would be willing to let go of past grudges and start anew. The unfinished dance would be complete soon.

He flipped the pages with his eyes, scanning each one until they finally landed on what he was looking for, the memory spell. He promised himself he would use it the next time he met her, no more withholding.

Aisleen's mind was still reeling as she made her way to the bathroom, recalling the night's events and Connor's strange behavior. Admittedly he had acted in a queer manner around her before, reacting unusually to the simplest words and things, but nothing like tonight. He hadn't even said goodbye properly as he just got up and left after a while, leaving her sitting there wondering what went wrong.

All these thoughts whirled in her mind as she opened the medicine cabinet and groaned loudly. _Oh come on! _The bottle sat empty, and she wanted to kick herself for forgetting to ask him for another one. She had been consuming large portions to be on the safe side, and finished the potion a little early.

She grimaced as she made her way back to bed and flopped down, hoping last night's dose would be enough to ward off the nightmares for tonight as well. She was sadly mistaken.

**`~ ~ ~ ~o o o~ ~ ~ ~`**

Merlin immediately knew something was wrong when he went to work the next morning. For one thing, Delilah wasn't there, and no matter what she did on the computer all day after she got to the office, she always came. Or at least called if she would be absent. Secondly, the door to his room was wide open and as he stepped inside, he found Aisleen sitting on his desk.

Her eyes were inflamed around the eyes, red either due to crying or lack of sleep. Maybe both. She looked gaunt and waxen as she stared back at him, and Merlin wondered how someone who was so vibrant just yesterday could look so ashen today.

" I sent her away, told her we needed some time to ourselves. We do, don't we?" Her gaze was unsettling, and Merlin felt the hairs stand on the back of his neck. He couldn't pinpoint what it was at first, but then he realized, she looked like Morgana did when she found out about the poisoning.

" It was you all along wasn't it?" she said, her voice a choked whisper. " I _saw_ you. You murdered me, ruthlessly. You're the man who stabbed me, and stood over me as I died by your feet. '_Goodbye Morgana'. _That was you, it was all you!" she shouted and Merlin flinched at the horror and disbelief in her voice.

This was not how he wanted her to find out, so he panicked and said, " Aisleen, it's not what you think. Sometimes you associate people you become close too-"

She took the vase on his table and hurled it across the room, causing it to shatter into pieces. " Oh spare me your physco crap! Associate people I'm close to? I have never seen the family or friends I grew up with, ever, in my dreams and you just come along and weave your way into them because I'm close to you? Stop lying! I knew it from the moment I met you, there was something more than meets the eye, but like a fool I just kept dismissing it. After last night, I should've seen it coming. The way you acted, you looked guilty, it just wasn't natural! If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that my dreams are not a figment of my imagination, they're real. You're hiding something, and you and I both know it."

She finally marched up to him and grabbed his collar and brought him down so that their faces were at the same level. " Explain, now. Tell me what it means, all of it. Why do I keep having these nightmares? Who is Morgana? And who are you _Conner? _" she spat the last word, furious that she ever believed that was his real name.

There was defeat in his eyes as he looked back at her. The very thing he had been trying to avoid, just blew up in his face again. If he had known this would happen, he would've told her last night. But it was too late once more, so he did the only thing left to do now.

He took both her hands in his even as she resisted and firmly pressed his forehead against hers.

" What are you-" she began but he cut her off with a " Ssshhh, just give me this one moment please."

They stood like that for a moment, still and silent as though time itself had frozen.

Merlin knew everything would change now, she would hate him and go away, and he would sink back into depression and loneliness after such a brief reprieve, but nonetheless he closed his eyes and chanted **"**_**Gedælan Morgana heo beþence bæc."**_

Her body tensed and quivered as wave after wave of his power surged through her. Her mind felt like it would explode as she was bombarded with images and flashes of her past, memories that had been dormant now resurfacing with the force of a volcano. She screamed and grabbed her head with her hands, nails digging into her hair as she backed away from him.

Her back hit the wall as her knees gave way and she collapsed on the ground, still clutching her head. When she finally looked up, he could see she had changed. Aisleen was gone.

" Merlin." Morgana breathed.

**next chapter: well you all know what's coming next right? please let me know what you thought!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**MonsterJunkie: Thanks! Glad the descriptions were better this time around, and there will be angst, I mean it is Mergana after all, but not so much.**

**FireyIce107: thank you :D**

**Dawn Ruthless: Dawn! Yes, I would really love to see Katie do ballet as well, she would look perfect, and aw, hopefully this chapter will be a little heart-mending? :)**

**mrlnfan: here it is!**

**Night girl98: aww you make me blush! really happy to see you like this story so much and so I took your advice to heart :)**

**Ekat: :)**

**MICKEY.G.B: Lucky you! At least you can tell them to teach you sometime, me and my friends just admire them from afar :P**

**theIrydioner: eeeh! your reviews give me the goofy merlin smile, they are so nice :D thanks a lot and I hope you had a great holiday ( assuming you went on one)!**

**AmyNY: Thanks and I love ballet too! Your welcome, you deserve it any way and hope to see more Mergana from you in the near future when can find the time! :)**

**hiddendaisy1821: thank you and here's more!**

**shell22: Funnily enough, I did not expect it either, but it was always meant to be four chapters so that felt like a good place, and thank you for your reviews, appreciate it!**

**4mergana: I know, I was starting to miss her too, and thanks!**

**sjritts: I know, Merlin will always mess up when it comes to our beloved seer...**

**Pollex: Not quite, he is immortal after all :P**

**Guest: Thank you so much and sorry about the sorta late update!**

**Guest: Thanks for pointing that out to me, I have fixed it, and yes, I should've gotten a beta but next time I guess!**

_Spare me your judgements and spare me your dreams_

_Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams_

Thistle and Weeds, Mumford and Sons ( great angsty mergana song :)

**`~ooo~ooo~`**

Although she had just had a lifetime of memories jammed into her skull, it was he who felt drained. All he wanted was a fresh start, was it so much to ask after so many sacrifices? Maybe it was the Triple Goddess' punishment for choosing Arthur and Camelot over magic.

" Morgana," he began, as he cautiously stepped toward her, hand outstretched but she shrunk further away from him. " Stay away from me!"

He held his hands up and hastily backed away. "I won't hurt you, I promise." he said, his voice breaking on promise, as though it sounded so ironic even to his own ears.

" Forgive me for finding that hard to believe. I remember all too well what happened the last time I placed my trust in you." she replied. He expected rage, for her to lash out, but this fear was worse, as though he was nothing but a ruthless killer. Well it's no surprise that in her eyes, that's exactly what he was.

His hands dropped to his sides, as he sat down on the floor opposite her, knees pulled to his chest, looking so much like the naive young servant he once was.

She was in shock, not only had she discovered her true identity in a matter of seconds, on top of that she realized that the man she had been slowly falling for was also the one who had murdered her. Her instincts screamed at her to run as far away as she could from him, but the at same time, she had questions which could be only answered by Merlin.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves and collect her thoughts. It was hard, his mere presence was unnerving.

" Why are we here Merlin?" She was Aisleen, and she was Morgana, the last high priestess reborn again as an ordinary girl, why? "And how is it that you remembered but I didn't?"

He exhaled, relieved that she was willing to talk. For a moment he had thought she would walk away without even giving him a chance. " I remembered because I never died Morgana."

She blinked, not expecting that. "You're immortal? How?" She had seen him on the brink of death so many times, like when he had drank from the poisoned goblet instead of Arthur. He was definitely dying, and she couldn't help but think how she had urged her brother to save him only to be poisoned herself by Merlin later on. The irony.

" When I was trapped in the crystal cave, I met my father. At first I thought he wasn't real, because I saw him die with my own eyes. He told me I was magic itself, that it was the very fabric of my being and I couldn't lose something that made me who I am. I regained my powers through his guidance, thanked him and bade farewell as I left but he told me there are no goodbyes for us. Like him, I will always be. Magic can never die Morgana, it lives on, whether it is in spirit or bodily form. So I have lived for a thousand years on this earth, waiting for Arthur to rise once again."

Her brow furrowed and he explained, " I couldn't take Arthur to Avalon in time. I couldn't save him, but I was told he would rise again when Albion's need is greatest. I never returned to Camelot after that. What was the point of anything anymore? I had failed to fulfill the prophecy, the destiny that was supposed to be my life, I wanted to die too for those first few years, but I wasn't granted that luxury."

Morgana knew she should rejoice at the news of Arthur's death, Merlin's misery and Camelot's despair. Even in death, she had won. But this didn't feel like victory. She felt strangely hollow, just as she had during Uther's death. She had told Aggravaine she wanted more, it wasn't enough, Arthur was still alive, but deep down she knew she was lying to herself. She would never be satisfied because although revenge was what drove her, it wasn't what she wanted. She simply wanted to be accepted for who she was, by those around her and those she loved, and in the end, she never got that.

In retrospect, what had the war accomplished? Arthur's death came at a price, Modred's and her own. Both sides lost, the ban on magic was never lifted and the throne which they had both been fighting for slowly collapsed. It all seemed so pointless now.

She looked back at Merlin, more confused than ever. " So why didn't you strike me down this time as well? I was the reason behind your King's demise. If the tables were turned and I happened to find you, I wouldn't have wasted a second to avenge Modred's death. I would certainly never help you, or...or befriend you. Why did you pretend you actually cared for Aisleen? You hate me. Dammit you killed me!"

She had a hard time processing all of Aisleen's thoughts, memories and feelings for Merlin, she couldn't believe he had kissed her! How could Merlin treat her like that, if it was reversed and she had been the one to find him without any knowledge of his past, she would've killed him. An eye for an eye after all right? She shivered as she recalled all the times she had been alone with him, in her studio, at night. He could've snapped her neck and disappeared and no one would know. So why not? What held him back?

" I wasn't pretending Morgana. I actually do care, whether you believe it or not. When you've lived as long as I have, it's very hard to hold onto grudges. Yes I killed you, and yes I hated you, but even then Morgana, I already told you, I blame myself for what you became. I've spent sleepless nights wondering how different everything would've have been if you were on our side, protecting Camelot together. I made a mistake not telling you, you felt isolated and sought comfort with the only person willing to help you, and no wonder you chose her over everyone else. I never condoned your actions, I still think you and methods to bring about justice were wrong, but at the same time, I understand what made you do it, and can't deny my role in turning you against Camelot. So when, after an eternity, I was granted a second chance to fix things, did you really think I would repeat history again? If you were in my shoes, I believe you would've done the same."

She blinked, letting his words sink in. A sardonic smile twisted her lips.

"I doubt that." she scoffed as Queen Annis' words rang in her head, _" You're consumed by bitterness Morgana, it spreads within you like a disease." _Why shouldn't she be, after all the times he screwed her over with his lies.

She turned away from him and said something she felt she had held inside long enough, " I asked you once whether you thought I deserved to be executed for who I am, and you said no. After everything we've been through, I didn't think you could do it. You can call me a hypocrite, as I tried to kill you several times myself, but it still surprised me nonetheless when you stabbed me." A tiny tear escaped her eye as she recalled the acute pain as the blade tore through her skin.

He came closer and gently wiped it away with his thumb and she flinched at his touch, but didn't move away. " I'm sorry." he said uselessly. _For everything._

" I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I ever trusted you." At the time she had denied it, but over the years she had come to the realize how right the old Queen was. She _was_ filled with bitterness, and she didn't know how to get rid of it. Or maybe she didn't want to.

Merlin sighed. " I can't change the past Morgana, no matter how much I want to. All I can do is try to make up for my previous mistakes. I'm not asking you to forgive me, nor am I asking you to forget everything that happened between us. I've had centuries to deal with it, and you, just a few minutes. So I understand your anger Morgana, but do you really think you were given life again just so you could hold onto your rage? You may not want to admit it, but I know, like me, you feel guilty for the things you've done as well. You need to move on Morgana, you need this just as much as I do."

She wanted to shove him away and tell him she didn't need anyone, least of all him! She had survived alone before and she could certainly do it again, especially here and now. She had no idea why they were given life again, but she felt it would be perfectly fine if she abandoned him just he abandoned her when she needed him the most. So easy, just walk and let him suffer another millenium full of regrets.

But Morgana bit back her retort as she considered her situation and grudgingly realized that it was true, she did need him, for more reasons than one.

It scared her that she couldn't feel the reassuring presence of her magic humming beneath her skin and no matter how many nightmares she had had, there were no incidents of broken vases or shattered windows for Aisleen. And Camelot or not, Morgana couldn't bear the thought of living without it. And this would be perfect way to see if he really meant what he said about helping her, about not repeating the past. " Merlin, if magic is such an integral part of us, why can't I feel mine? I never could in this life."

He had pondered about that too when he initially met her, but maybe he knew the answer now. " It's still there Morgana, you just need a catalyst."

He took her left hand in his, and told her, " Say it with me."

So with their heads leant forward and eyes focused on her pale skin, they whispered together, _**"Forbearne".**_

She jolted backwards as flames erupted on her palm, dancing in her green eyes. Merlin kept his hand under hers, feeding the fire with his own magic, but it was still hers that brought it to life.

They had a long, bumpy road ahead. Their relationship was just as damaged as before, and one conversation fraught with turbulent emotions wouldn't solve anything. Only time would heal their century old wounds. But this spark of fire would be enough for now, for it provided just what they needed. A ray of hope, for a brighter future, together.

**Well there it is! Can't believe I actually finished a story :P At first I thought I would make Morgana leave after he told her she needed him as well, because I'm just sooo mad at Merlin for killing her, but that would make a crappy end, so not a completely tied up loose ends conclusion, but ending on a good note at least! If anyone wants I could continue one shots regarding what happened after this, but for now, I felt this was a good place to leave the story.**

**A massive THANK YOU to all those who took the time to review because honestly, without you kind words and great advice, I would never have had the confidence to post and share this story, so thanks, you all rock! Keep the Merlin fandom and especially Mergana alive through these fics, Happy reading and writing everyone! :D**


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